Wednesday, July 26, 2006

catching up with things

Well, it has been so nice to read and catch up with all the blogs I read on a weekly basis. Plus I have found more blogs in other's blogrolls that I have added to my list to get to, at this point, I think there must be something like 45 that I read on a weekly basis and about 70 more in my to start from beginning, and read to present list. I am just reading blogs and reading blogs. They are so fun, and exciting! I love seeing all the pictures, and hearing about everyone's projects.

Well, today I worked on my Dolphin's Domain. It is coming along, I just felt like working on something different. I wish I could keep witha good rotation, that way it would be easier for my readers to keep up with my projects, but I tend to hop around a lot. Really though? I think I am having a hard time bouncing back after finishing my mom's piece. I put so much effort into it, that I sort of feel sad that it's gone, but at the same time, relieved. But now without the pressure of having it to do, I don't know WHAT to do. I mean I know I have to get my dad's piece done, I'm shootin' for Christmas on that one, but that is still quite aways away, and I have time to get other projects done in that time too. I don't know if I am making any sence right now or not, it's just that without the pressure of HAVING to finish anything, I feel the freedom of putting in a few stitches in a project and then switching out between any of my many other projects going on. But if I do that, then I will never finish anything, like usual. but I love the feeling of finishing a project. It is just such a gratifying feeling.

I just sorta feel like my mojo is gone. I am bored, with life, I want my hubby to get home, I need something different in my life. That is odd for me to say this since i just got back a week ago from a vacation. I just feel blah. Not just about stitching, but about everything. Work, my other hobbies, everything. And I try to get inspired and motivated, but then I just sit down and watch another DVD of gilmore girls, and since I only own one season I have seen it a million times. I seriously need some retail therapy. New stash, or new shows to watch on DVD, or SOMETHING.

Do you have ever have the sence of knwoing you HAVE something to do, and yet you put it off by doing ANYTHING but that thing? Those of you who are students, or were students know what I am talking about. In college I knew I had homework to do, and I would do ANYTHING but do the homework. My laundry got done, and my dorm room would be spick and span. That is how I am feeling right now. I am doing other things but facing reality and doing the responsible things I know I need to do. Most of those things have to do with my car and the insurence, and all that hoopla, and I avoid it because I just don't want to deal with it. I need to go into town and get things started to get my passport because me and DH are going on a carribean cruise when we get back. I need to get the ball rolling to have our wedding ceremony in December, I need to write my resume' so I can get out of my sucky retail job, I need to find places to do some intern work so I can finish my degree in Addiction studies.(I am only about 80 intern hours away from getting the degree, I've done everything else.) SO many things to do, and no motivation to get them done. I just feel stagnate. (sp?) just stuck, with no motivation...

Wow! where did that all come from? Sorry to bore you all with my issues. I just was thinking and put it here, I often use the written form to think things through.
Anyway. Thanks for listening to me blah blah about my life as it is and my thoughts on what needs to be done to make it the best it can be. I think I need to go stitch now. Maybe! I should start a new piece! Hmm...I am starting to feel a bit more motivated now. Thanks for listening!


Lili said...

Dear Lana!
I see huge exhaustedness, and supposed depression... This is how I feel when I'm deep down. And then I let myself down and down. So you got two choices: go down and down and then give a kick to come back to surface, but it's gonna take huge work to catch up. Or kick right now, which would be best, of course... Take one thing at a time, deal with it, finish it -forgetting all the other things. When this thing is done choose the next one... Because if you think of it all in bulk, you can go back to bed straight away...
My thoughts are with you, Lana.
Here's a hug to cheer you up!
Take care!

Kim said...

I agree with Lili, just take it one thing at a time and focus on each item. Start with something simple so that you get a sense of accomplishment! Make a list and check them off one by one. You are smart and talented, you can do it! Especially if it gets you out of a crappy job and into doing something that inspires you. :D Don't let theyears go by and end up with a boat load of regrets. Take care! ((hugs))